Hindsight

      I am now an aunt. To be fair, I have 5 nieces and nephews on my husband’s side and I love them all. But recently my sister had her first child, a son. This event gave me the opportunity to travel across the country to be with them. I went to offer my help, my encouragement, and (hard to believe) my wisdom. As a mother of two young children, I have some real world experience on the subject of babies.

      So I headed out there, and got down to it. I played several roles while there, including but not limited to: chef, nanny, maid, butler, personal assistant and court jester. True, I was there to meet my nephew, but I was also there to help my sister navigate her new life. Or at least to survive its beginning.

      What I realized through it all is that I could do all the above jobs and still have time to watch old reruns with my sister while she nursed. I could nap, read, and go for a run. I could do all of that in my sleep and still have time to spare. Meanwhile, my sister needed nothing but sleep. We were in two very different places.

      Nearly five years after I started this journey of parenthood, I realize how much I’ve adjusted to. I now see my sister’s place as a parent of one small baby as a breeze. Her son can’t talk back, he can’t throw a tantrum, and he stays in one place. When I was there, his cry sounded more like a whimper. My house these days sounds like a three-ring circus. I am surrounded by squeals, giggles and sibling squabbles. Every time I turn around, I’m wiping up a spill, taking someone to the potty, or convincing someone to take “just one more bite.” For me, the visit to help my sister was like a mini vacation. Even with the chores.

      However, my sister didn’t see it that way. She is living the seemingly insurmountable life of a new mother: that sleep-deprived place where you are aware of the harsh reality that life will never be the same. Yes, having a child is a blessed event. It’s beautiful and amazing. It’s also ugly, scary, and confining. She needed someone there who remembers that, someone with hindsight to hold her hand through the first few weeks.

     I feel overwhelmingly blessed to be in that position. It once again shows me how God uses our experiences to work in the lives of others. Not to mention our own. At the time, my sister was in that place where she wasn’t sure she’d make it through. The thing is, she will. And what’s more, she’ll probably do it again. That’s what we do. We willingly throw ourselves into the great adventure called parenthood again and again.

     You know that cliché all older people say to parents with young children? It’s a variation of “enjoy these moments, it goes by so quickly.”  Sometimes I see these people and think, okay, take them. Take my snotty, whining, bratty kids. But this is what’s funny. I watched my sister nursing her newborn son, and found myself saying just that. I can’t get back those sweet moments with newborn AP or MP. They are gone. All I can do is move forward, enjoying the new, amazing things my children do each day. And in the meantime, I sure can take time to hold my new nephew while my sister catches a nap.